I've Tried That - We lose money so you don't have to!

After the email I sent replying to my would-be African wife, I received this one, including the picture:

Good morning my dear lovebug, thanks for your explaination in your letter.
i want you to explain the mutual fund to me and how profitable it is if you invest my fund in it. addis ababa is in north africa, i am not in addis abba now because of the reason that i have told you in my first letter. i am in the city of dakar now very close to the gambia.

i will like to let you know that what i want first from this life is peace of mind, since the death of my parents i have not been peaceful within myself because i dont know who is who in my town (Addis Ababa), i mean that i dont know who is my family friends and family enemies and that made me not to have peace of mind, hence i came to this Dakar city to travel to london where my weath is as i have already explained to you. Now coming to my best wishes for myself, the best wishes for me is for you to invest my wealth substantially, i mean you making a substantial investment of the money, and while you take care of the investment and management of my wealth, i will be schooling in one of the best universities in your city, also tell me your best wishes.

i also want you to give me information on your area of specialization and how many percent interest rate does banks over their use to give to their customers who deposit some amount of money in a current account in their bank? My problem is that Barclays bank instructed me to appoint a foreign partner who will be my fund manager, so i will write a letter to barclays bank and tell them that you are my foreign partner and the bank will process and transfer the money into your bank account for me, and through your bank barclays bank will send me your bank address and how to locate your bank address after the transfer, so i am very safe about how to locate you through your bank if barclays bank will agree to transfer the money into your account for me. And upon my arrival in your city you will take me to your bank where my money is and i will withdraw all the money and redeposit it in 4 current accounts with 4 big banks in your country, because it is the best to be writing cheques and credit cards for payments, i need you to answer this question straight to my understanding.

I have attached my photo to this letter, If possible do also scan and send me your. Always inform me before taking any step and hence-forth always write me through this email address Angelakenn111@yahoo.com because my family friend (francisca) has the password of my old email address and she has been posted to the Gambia as i have already told you. I want to hear your voice but i have no telephone and the price of a telephone handset together with a telephone line is 150euro and i have no cash at hand to buy it because of my present condition. My dear, i am a christian from a catholic family, so it is christian marriage or court marriage that we will do. i will be back to receive your reply.

yours sincerely
Miss Angela Kennedy
with all my love and kisses

Update 2 May 21, 2007
After she sent me her picture I had to return the favor. Here’s my latest message to her:

Dear Angela,
Thank you for the picture, you are pretty girl, you look like Lt. Uhura. I don’t have a very good one of me. This one was from last year when I went to a convention. Maybe when we meet you and I can go to one.

First I should tell you my real name: it’s Richard Williams. I never use my real name in my email address because you never know who’s gonna read it, right. It’s good to be careful. Your bank will need to know my real name, not my email name. and I guess they can’t use lovebug, right? LOL

A mutual fund is a big collection of money invested in different things. Lots of people own money in it, that’s why they call it mutual. Part of it could be in stocks, part in bonds and part in real estate. Mutual funds earn more than a normal account, sometimes as high as 60% per year! It all depends on what fund you invest in and what it owns.

Why do your enemies not like you? You seem nice. What do you want to study in school?

My best wishes? I want to buy this tricked out gaming PC system. Well, build is more like it. No PC out there can do what I want so I’ll have to build it myself. Not even the goverment uses this technology! Problem is I need about $6,000 dollars in parts and a T1 connection to build it. I have about $5,000 in savings, but I don’t want to use that for things like computers. I’ll just watch for the parts to go on eBay or Craigslist and get it a little at a time.

I not sure what you mean by my areas of specialization. Gaming, I guess. I’m a level 25 master in Dungeons and Dragons and my World of Warcraft? forget it! I also got a folklore degree in college, so I know a lot about quilts and stuff. If you mean financial specialization, well, that would be savings accounts because it’s what I have most experience with. Banks here only pay about 3% interest on savings accounts, so we’d definitely go with a mutual fund for your money.

I hope you like the picture. Write back soon.

-rW
(I always make the W capitalized like that, just to shake things up.)

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