JMB Profit Machine: A Modern Day Snake Oil Salesman

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Quick Summary of JMB Profit Machine

Rating: 1 out of 5. As fancy as it looks, under the hood this is no different to every other Binary Options scam.

Pros: None, except laughing at the actors accents.

Cons: Everything! The node system is made up, none of the testimonials or even the story behind it seem real. All roads point to another Binary Options scam.

Our Recommendation: This "system" is designed to baffle you with science, all the while only offering a high risk, no guarantee of making money online: Binary Options. If you want a way to build a real business, read my top recommendation.

Full Review

Binary Options affiliates will go to extraordinary lengths in order to get you to hand over your cash.

One such system, JMB Profit Machines, has gone down the professional/let’s throw money at this route.

For all its slickness and over indulgence, the system is still not one I would recommend. Read on to find out why.

The Pitch

As mentioned, JMB Profit Machines looks very slick and commercial.

The core video is well produced, obviously with some serious equipment and time spent on it.

The testimonials by number alone, shows that money was spent in quantity.

The website features numerous systems that would look good on any quality website, and provide a sense of legitimacy: the mapping system is awe inspiring for me, let alone a non-techy and the FAQ also looks professionally done.

Why then am I dubious about this system? Let’s break it down.

JMB Profit Machine laughing

Our hosts: full of gobbledygook and bad accents.

The Testimonials

JMB Profit Machine states they have over 1100 testimonials proving that their system works. They may well have that number of testimonials (I got bored after about 150 to be honest), but the the thing that strikes me as odd is that the testimonials were all so vague.

At no point in any of the videos was the name of the product mentioned. All of the actors make vague references to an “It” that helped them.

Surely, ONE PERSON out of over 1,100 would mention the product by name ONCE. My experience tells me that not one of these testimonials is real, and that they were purchased from sites like My suspicion is they are intentionally vague to be reused over and over again in other various Binary Options scams.

The Map

While pretty looking, the map uses standard geolocation techniques to find your locale and bring up some random data on it.

The random data really is random, I’ve looked at the code, and this is a fact: the cluster count is a random number between 1100 and 1700, and the node count is either 2 or 3.

Therefore while it looks great, the map is lying to you.


We all have reasons not to buy a particular product or service but people involved in marketing or sales have been taught or learn how to handle and overcome objections.

This FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) list is this websites way of overcoming your objections. It’s carefully thought out to answer any and everything that you can throw at it, all the while making JMB Profit Machine seem squeaky clean.

The main focus of it though, is to push the idea that the 1107 testimonials are all the proof you need. It’s a shame that none of the can be proven to be real and the vagueness of each testimony simply adds to the idea that they are not real!

JMB Profit Machine 1107 testimonials

Yes, of course they can be wrong, if you paid them for their reviews.

The Video

I’ve purposefully left the video until last, as this is a 30 minute monster of hype and BS.

The two narrators: are the meant to be Brits? One sounds like a cross between Czech and Australian and the other has such a fake, pompous accent that he would get beaten up in the streets of London for talking like that – most likely they just a pair of actors.

As is typical of Binary Options scams, this new-fangled system is completely on autopilot: it makes you money, brews your coffee in the morning and writes the next bestseller by lunchtime.

Have you ever heard the phrase “baffle with science”? It’s a trick that marketers have used since the very first snake oil salesman. The basic principle is to use scientific mumbo-jumbo in a semi coherent manner that seems to make sense but when dissected actually ends up being a pile of BS.

Its purpose is to befuddle those who don’t have any knowledge or deep enough knowledge of the specific information, in this case computer science, and provide just enough information to seem legitimate.

JMB uses neural networks in this case. It states that their system uses the computers of each member to act like a local (but worldwide network), similar to an internet within an internet.

This network has more power than a single home computer so can process more complicated algorithms, and provide more accurate results faster.

Of course, when they showed several symbols for power (as in electricity) it was clear they were making things up. The amount of power (electricity) is irrelevant. At no point did they even mention processing power (basically the number of synced computer chips).

Even if we say that these symbols were for layman and they actually mean processing power, they do not explain how the system actually works.

As usual everything is vague and mixed in with big and complicated words: the act of a snake oil salesman for the modern era.

Inside JMB Profits Machine

After signing up to one of their brokers you are prompted to hand over some money.

Only after that will JMB Profit Machine give you access to their software. Why is this? Surely they are giving you this software for free, so why not give it up front? Any more nodes added to their networks would surely help, right?

Well, of course, they actually don’t give two hoots about your node, all they want is for you to give the broker your money so that they can get a commission. Of course you will no doubt get access to their software, but it is likely little better than any other binary options signals software.

After all, with the micro transactions that happen in Binary Options and the time lockout, how can it actually predict anything?

Here’s a game for you: I’ll start talking random numbers for 2 minutes, and I’ll give you a starting number. You need to guess, before I start, whether my final number after those two minutes will be higher or lower than the starting number.

In the past year, I have generally gone higher.

You would likely say that I would go higher as my overall trend has been to end higher. But you don’t really know, and neither does any Binary Options signals software. At best it can make guesses based on overall trends but has no idea how a 2 minute trend will go.

After all, markets are volatile; just check the JMB risk disclaimer.

The Bottom Line

While the JMB website is professional looking and has obviously had time and money thrown at it, it doesn’t hide the fact that JMB Profit Machine is yet another Binary Options scam.

The affiliate page for this system, states that the creators of if were also behind Binary Boom, which we gave 0.5 stars out of 5 in our review.

The fact that the authors are proud enough of that spyware crap to mention it to their potential affiliate’s shows exactly how much regard they have for you and your money: ZERO!

Avoid this if you want to save money.

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