I've Tried That - We lose money so you don't have to!

I’m a simple guy. I don’t ask for much from life—just some occasional downtime, really, is all I feel the Universe owes me. I’m pretty easy to please. A simple, “Thanks for the heads up,” or, “You saved me $50″ can fuel me for days. So I don’t think I’m being unreasonable with this request: Can I get an original scam letter, please??

I’m sick of the same old, same old, like this one just received yesterday. It doesn’t even inspire Richard Williams, who’s generally pretty easy to inspire:

Good Day,

Thanks so much for responding my message and understanding my situation and your assurance that you will help me out from this my critical situation.

To be honestly speaking with you, I got your contact information through chamber of commerce,where I was searching for a Godly reliable partner that will help me out of this my critical condition,I saw and select your name among equal,I pray and fasted over this before sending you the proposal, I believe it’s God Almighty that directed me to you, I’m for real and you will never ever regret of helping me out, just believe and put your trust in me.

Before we proceed, let me brief introduce myself to you. My full name :Miss Lizzy Johnson and Son.My late My late Husband packaged and sealed Eigtheen million U.S dollars($18,000,000.00) in a trunk box,he deposited the consignment in one of the security firm here in Cote d’Ivoire,he declare the content to them as family treasure not as cash,so we would not allow the security company to notice the real content of the box,untill we retrieve out the consignment and get it transported to your country.

What I really need from you is to help me in dealing with the security company as my late Husband business associate because I do not have any other parents on earth now and can you tell me more about yourself, in such a way below:

Your full name……………………………………………..
Your Telephone and Fax number……………………………
Your residence address…………………………………….
Your proffession ………………………………………..
Your current age ………………..and more of your family background with your personal photo.

Upon receipt of this your personal information ,I will give you the contact of the security company where my late Husband deposited the consignment and make inquires with them on their procedures to retrieve the box.

From my heart ,I promise you 10% of the total money in question and 5% for compensation of any expenses you may make or incur during the retrievement of the consignment from the security company here in Abidjan Cote d’lvoire.

As you might have known this needs trust, sincereness and better understanding so that we would be able to achieve our aim. For your information there is no risk involved in this transaction, the money legally belongs to me and my son. I assured you free and safety in this project and I will open up all my mind to you for your well understand of my mind and my predicament now.

I want to assure and reassure you that my request is legitimate and 100% legal and hitch-free and please, could you assure me that you will keep the details of the project very top secret within yourself to avoid people around you to be after you because of the money and me too on when I come over there to meet you?.

Thanks and Remain Blessed .

Yours Truly,

Miss. Lizzy Johnson

I mean, come on! There are thousands of people running these kinds of scams and they can’t come up with a new formula? It’s always the same:

• A fortune socked away somewhere
• A tragic and untimely death
• An orphan or widow who needs someone big and strong like me to rescue the money

The Contest Part
I think you can do better. Stretch your creative writing muscles and write me an original scam letter—the first email sent to victims that lays the groundwork for extracting money from them. You’ll get extra points for originality, even if you just tweak the existing formula somehow. You’ll get big extra points for making me laugh.

What’s in it for you? Fame and fortune, of course. I’ll post the winning entry here so all of the blogosphere can marvel over your creative criminal genius. And for a limited time, we’re offering these unbelievable prizes:
First Place: A copy of Yaro Starak’s Blog Profits Blueprint, absolutely free!
Second Place: The Google Pack of useful software. Again: Free to creative writers.
Third Place: A kiss from Steve (if you can get him to give up his address so you can go collect).