I've Tried That - We lose money so you don't have to!

In my last project payday review, I promised everyone that Franklin McNugget (my alias, for those of you who don’t know and think I’m crazy) would send an email to the Project Payday support team to have a few things cleared up. The email was titled ’5 Questions I have before Joining.’

Dear Mr. (or Ms. to be politically correct, no such thing as too careful these days!) Hiring Manager,

Hello. My name is Franklin McNugget and I’m 25 years old. I would like to give you a little background information so you can better understand the world of McNugget. I am an Irish-Italian male and my parents brought me over from Ireland when I was only 6 weeks old. I don’t remember the journey, but my mom made me a power point slide show for my 16th birthday documenting the trip. It was the best birthday present ever! Much better than the tissue they gave me the previous year! As you can see, we are quite poor and I think Project Payday has the answers for me to become the next Bill Jobs. All across the nation people will know the name Franklin McNugget! Now, all I need to do is join Project Payday, but I have a few questions that need to be answered first.

Question 1. This one is easy. Will I really make $5,000 per month like the website says!? Right now, I work for 55 cents an hour washing the backs of my mother’s friends. Don’t even get me started on Aunt Geralda. But since you brought her up, I’ll tell you about her. She weights 500 lbs and barely fits in the bathtub. There isn’t even room for me, much less a scrubber! As you can see, I really would like to make $5,000 per month at least.

Question 2. The website lists a lot of stuff I won’t be doing, (Just something to think about, you would probably make more sales if you added ‘you won’t ever have to wash your mom’s friends backs again!’ That one is a freebie courtesy Franklin McNugget. I will accept donations if you see a 500% increase in sales though. (Man this is a long use of parentheses.)) what exactly will I be doing? I realize there are three methods I have to use, but there is no mention of what these are. I won’t be doing anything illegal anymore. I tried to sell drugs but I had no idea that cop was undercover. Honest. Don’t listen to what the press says about me. It’s all lies.

Question III. (See what I did there? LOL. I’m a comedian to boot!) I don’t have a credit card and it will take me an awfully long time to save up the $30+ dollars you require for me to join. Since I’ll be making $5,000 a month, I’ll just give you a percentage of that. My friend Richard Williams (rW for short if you want to reference him in your response) says he worked out a deal like that with the data entry company he works for. Now me makes millions of dollars and even owns a Toyota Camry! Can you believe it!? So, it would be really great if we could work this out.

Question 4. I see you offer a $100 refund. Will there be anyway of.. uhh.. tracking if say someone.. uhh.. named Francis Bigmac.. uhh.. just signs up and asks for a refund multiple times? This is question is strictly for educational purposes and to test your security strengths. Scouts honor. (Did I mention I was a boy scout? I was an Eagle Scout and served my country proud for 15 years!)

Question 5. The website says that I don’t have what it takes to make money online like you. Is that true? Why should I join this program if I won’t be able to make any money online. I thought that the whole idea was to make money online and then you tell me I can’t make money online like you make money online and all I really want to do is make money online and be rich because I made money online.

Thank for you taking the time to answer my questions. I would leave you with my cell phone number but my mom took it away from me after she caught me watching her friend undress before her scrubbing. It was really embarrassing. So please just write back to me as soon as you can.

Franklin H. McNugget Esq.

(I really don’t know what Esquire means, but it sure looks fancy!)

Now, I highly doubt I’ll get a response after this long email, but I can assure you I will be persistent. I even have the phone numbers of a few Project Payday “employees.” If all else fails, I’ll pull out my worst Italian accent and call for help.