“We need some more flavor,” Said Steve.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “You want to start reviewing Ben and Jerry’s?”

“No, dummy, it’s an analogy.”

“Uh…I think you mean ‘metaphorical expression.’”

“Whatever. I think we should each pick a specialty to focus on.”

“No, not ‘whatever.’ A metaphor is very different from an analogy. Metaphors create meaning by unlike words to generate surprise and interest. Analogies make inferences about relationships between abstract ideas.” I was just getting warmed up.

“Huh?” Steve replied. “You still know what I meant.”

“No thanks to your choice of words.”

“Why do I seek your counsel?” Steve has a short fuse.

“Because your mom will never tell you the truth about you.”

What’s more common than blogs? Sites that claim to teach bloggers how to write well. Ok, that’s not an entirely fair assertion, but there are LOTS of sites out there where you can get writing tips, and many of them are very good.

I taught college writing for 10 years. It’s true! With books and everything. I’ve seen some of the worst writing ever produced, and I’ve seen some very good stuff. I think I have an eye for it. So because Steve rejected the idea of my specialty being Brazilian cuias, I’m going to focus on writing. How to make your words dance on the page rather than just sit there. First lesson: surprise. That explains the crappy headline. Did it surprise you? Did you read this post because of it? I don’t promise you’ll suddenly have more traffic than your servers can handle if you follow my writing advice—only that your writing will be more fun to read.

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