I've Tried That - We lose money so you don't have to!

It should go without saying what a “job” is. I mean, doesn’t everybody know? Well, if you’ve been looking for legitimate work-from-home or internet jobs, you know that it’s a concept that’s just too much for many internet marketers to handle, for they seem to think that “job” means things you do in your spare time that will make money for me. That, or they think you’re stupid and YOU don’t know what it means.

“Free” is another tricky word in the online dictionary. It used to be straightforward: “free beer” meant you got a beer and it didn’t cost you anything. But “free” is increasingly difficult for some people to grasp, especially the jerks that run those banners: Identify this actress to get your FREE iPOD! (Choices: Paris Hilton, Donald Duck, cheese). For these bozos, “free” means “after you sign up for 500 credit card-backed offers and purchase $3000 worth of stuff from those offers, and after we verify that you have in fact spent at least $3000 on that stuff, which might take up to 7 years.” I mean, really! Let’s use words like they mean something instead of just as marketing gimmicks, okay guys?

Sheesh. Idiocy abounds. To do our part toward clearing up all the misunderstandings, we’re launching a new feature at I’ve Tried That: the Glossary. When you read a job ad that depends on what the meaning of the word “money” is, head on over to our Glossary and we’ll try to clear it up for you. Here are some inaugural entries to get the ball rolling. If you have suggestions for additions to the glossary, speak up in the comments. You might just win an Entertainment book!

ebook: 1. See scam. 2. An “electronic” book, usually in pdf format, that you can download and read on your computer or print.

free: A mythical system of exchange in which you get something for nothing. Not to be confused with scam or ebook, which often say they are free, but which have something to gain from your consumption/participation.

job (noun): An arrangement in which you exchange a known amount of time or skill for a known amount of money. In short someone pays you. Not to be confused with a scam, in which you pay your “employer” for information needed to do your “job.”

Nigerian scam: A scam in which someone promises you millions of dollars if you will just send $____ to them for the purpose of __________.

online job: See scam. Purportedly an arrangement in which you do a known quantity of work online, for which you are paid a known sum.

Richard Williams: An all-around likeable guy.

scam: 1. An arrangement in which you exchange your money for something of little or no value because you were suckered into thinking it was a job or something else of value. Anything with “data entry” in the title is most likely a scam, not a job. 2. Something that makes a promise but does not deliver after you pay based on the promise.

pre-sell page: 1. See scam. 2. See ebook. A web page characterized by pictures of money, yellow highlighted text and testimonials. Pretending to answer search queries such as “how to make money online,” they are actually just sales pitches.